1.17.2014

Is the only way out suicide?

Hello  Sorry I have not been posting for the past week. I have midterms, which literally takes five hours to study for :/  Today is not a beauty post, sorry that is next week, I thought I would share some tragic news I have hearing this past weekend. I live in the suburbs and a few cities over from me there is a public school that I am pretty familiar with. I won't which public school on behalf my security and in respect of the family, but someone committed suicide.

I learned about this from my history teacher because he happens to live in this city where the person passed away. The person attended the city's public high-school. He was a freshman and I think he was fourteen. People found him dead on Friday and they are saying that it was suicide because there was no evidence to say otherwise, but details have not been released. 

When my teacher talked about this, he made some really good points that I thought I should share in my own words. What is so hurtful and sad that makes you want to take your own life, especially if that hurtful thing is written on the internet. Its not that I don't feel sad, I DO, but it is just something I don't understand.

Then on Monday, someone else committed suicide- In the same city, same school. He was a senior who was going to graduate this June, 2014 . He was found hung in his backyard in the morning.

If two kids are committing suicide in the same week from the same school, then there is a problem. One of them was being cyber-bullied, I think it was the freshman. This school is trying to help students with grieving counselors, but shouldn't they hunt the main cause or the person who could of said these hurtful comments. I will give them a week the weekend to see what solution they have for this problem.

How to stop suicide before it happens!
I think kids of the same age and in my generations can understand each other better than adults understand kids. I am pretty emphatic to people and their situations, which is like 'treat others you want to be treated' or 'putting yourself in someone else shoes' and I am going to try give tips and advice to treat the problem in an indirect way.

Why an indirect approach? I know if I was suicidal (Which I am not!) If someone told me 'Laila, I know you are suicidal and you should get some help' I would most likely feel embarrassed. I would ask myself 'will they look or treat me different, who will they tell, etc?' then become scared, which just causes more anxiety.

How to know if someone is suicidal ? The thing you really don't know unless they show physical signs like cutting wrists/thighs, writing about how they hate themselves, or even if someone is bullying them.  If you are a parent you can't keep them in the room and watch over them.

Know what they like- If the person you think is suicidal, might commit suicide or hurt themselves, follow these steps. I STRONGLY advise if this not working then get help form a professional. Find out something they really like. For example if the person really likes anime then do something related to anime.  Take him/her to an anime convention or even to Japan! Set the date for a few week or longer and build up the excitement of the event. You know that this plan is working if they are excited as well. This plan distracts them from committing suicide/having suicidal thoughts because it is something they like. Then take them and do this cycle over and over again and watch to see if they show their old signs.

Suicide is more serious than I am making it out to be. The whole point of the 'indirect' plan is to show the person that there is more out there than the stuff written on the internet or in your tiny school in your tiny town. The person just has to find it:)

This is just my advice, but if you or someone you know needs someone to talk to then you can message me on tumblr, tweet me, or use my business email to contact me:) I want to be that person who you can talk to if you are having problems (my teacher said that too!) Anyways, stay safe, I hope to see you back on Monday, and in the comments share your thoughts/advice on this topic.

LEAVE A COMMENT

  1. Aw, how terrible!
    I love your new header btw!
    stay strong.
    majotron.blogspot.com

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    1. I know it is sad, but thanks about the header:)

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  2. So sorry to hear about that, suicide is now the number one cause of death other than accidental death among teens. It is serious and even in my profession (therapy), I find that the rates of depression and anxiety among teens and young adults is dramatically rising. My cousin's boyfriend committed suicide because of family issues and after his deaths she found out she was pregnant. It is very important for family and friends to take an active role and be vigilant. Even if you don't suspect outright that your teen is having issues it is always good to have open and constant communication. Suicide and the issues that cause suicide among teens should be discussed with every young person regardless of if they arise. It's always better to talk about things before they happen whether it be sex, suicide, drug use, peer pressure, drinking, etc

    -Erica
    http://diaryofatrendaholic.blogspot.ca/

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    1. I find that teens my age find it harder to talk to others about their feelings, especially with their parents!

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  3. There's this girl I know who shares similar experiences as myself. She goes on my bus to and from school. One day on the way back, we started talking and walking together. It was only the two of us, and the conversations we had become deep and depressing. She showed me her cuts and well, I just didn't know what to do. Even though she and I had experienced similar things, I couldn't understand why she would do that to herself, but that was because I had the support of others during my hardships. I've been trying to cheer her up, things such as going shopping or studying together, but it goes to show that even one friend can go a long way in difficult times.
    Thank you for writing this post. ;v;

    http://pandagin.blogspot.com/

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    1. That is great Gin, there should be more girls like you helping others who don't have friends and cheering them up. How sweet<3

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    2. I am going to try to become more like you and try to help others that might feel lonely:) Thanks<3

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  5. I actually attempted suicide, more than once. I did not have the support system I do now and I wish I did. There were a lot of problems I was having, that I honestly don't feel comfortable sharing, and I did not know how to cope with it. No one was on my side, it felt.

    Thankfully, I managed to keep myself strong by watching anime and watching the things that make me feel good. I listened to music, and this was around the time I discovered JPOP too, every day until I could at least bury the noise - the noise, the taunting noise of suicide.

    It took years and almost two decades for me to realize that life was worth living. My boyfriend saw the ending remnants of those feelings and, even though he's stuck by my side, it was so hard for him.

    However, the only thing I ever wanted was someone to listen. Someone to take my pain seriously. Someone who cares about me and someone who loves me. I thought I didn't have that until I met my current friends and my boyfriend. Sometimes, I have sad thoughts but it seems that time is allowing it to dwindle further and further.

    I think if there's anything you should do for someone is to listen to their story and their pain. Please, listen to them. I almost ended my life thinking that no one would ever listen to me and I'm so glad I was proven wrong by some of the best people I've ever met.

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    1. Wow! I have no real words to say than I am happy that you are with us,sharing your story. I have to say I also watch/read anime and listen Jpop for inspiration, which really helps me:) Thanks for sharing your story XOXO

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    2. It's not a problem. :D I don't want those to feel that they have no voice. I really hope we all can help out everyone even more so! Ever since I've had those feelings, I've made it my personal life goal to help all my friends in any way that I can, even if it means to just listen to their problems.

      I never want anyone to feel the way I felt and end up ending their own lives.

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    3. I am going to begin writing more posts related to suicide and self-hurt, I am also going to make a goal to help people with this! If you want, it would be great if you can help me spread the word by writing a post about suicide from your perspective:)

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    4. Sure. :) I'll send you an email so you can have mine.

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